Why do people do what they do? Why do people react the way they react? Why do people feel the way they feel? I don't know if these questions are on your mind but they have always been on mine. Due to the complexity of human behavior there is no simple answer but I am convinced that there is at least one definate contributing factor that we all have in common and that is- our belief system. We are not always aware of our believe system nor where it came from, but we should be. Our beliefs are the driving force behind our attitudes and our actions. But here is the hard part - what are the beliefs that drive each of us individually? That's the complex part - we are all individual therefore we all believe feel and think differently than our fellow humans. The only way to know is to examine our own behavior and everyday attitudes that influences how we act and react in the company of others - our children included. The best way to get started is to think about your thoughts and think about your words. Sounds obvious but you would be amazed at how many people are totally unaware of thier feelings and beliefs, therefore they are not aware of how they act. Most likely your thoughts and actions are profoundly influenced by beliefs passed down from your parents and grandparents. Thoughts and beliefs about:
- Strangers
- Neighbors
- Other races
- Other religious
- Old people
- Joggers
- Dog owners
- Homosexuals
- Men
- Women
- Overweight people
- Smokers etc. etc. etc.
The list goes on and on but it is a start. It is way to examine how we really feel about the multitude of people and circumstances with which we are faced on a daily basis. Many beliefs can be positve, flexible and loving yet others can be negative, rigid and hateful, it is your job to figure that out. Just be aware that not only do your beliefs guide your every action and reaction but they also are passed on to your children which will strongly influence thier actions and reactions - and so goes to the cycle.
Try to think of a saying that your father, mother, grandfather or grandmother has said billions of times which has stuck in your brain. Common example: "Children should be seen and not heard."
There are thousands of them so figure out what they are and ask yourself if you want to keep perpetuating whatever it is. Maybe you do, maybe you don't but at least you have increased your self awareness and that can only make you a better parent/person.
